Talk About Defensive

These couple of  days weren't really productive for me. I caught cold from a friend and it has been limiting my activities quite significantly. It is really frustrating to lay in bed all day, hoping the cold would wash away soon. Yes, I do have internet connection but it's those same 'ol stuff; Facebook, Youtube, blogs, and a few other sites. You know, the feeling when you're on the net but got sick of seeing the same thing over and over. And that's when I reached the ultimate of boredom, hence came the urge to write. 

Anyway, I've been pondering for quite some time about people's defensive behavior. Really, the thoughts came about through observations. The spark to writing about this issue was an anecdote in which I saw someone throwing a bunch of reasons  (of which some were unnecessary) to his buddy to prove that he wasn't wrong. 

What really defines defensive behavior? 

Numerous pages defining defensive reaction could be found throughout the web. But in my choice of words, it is the resistive reaction when one's stand or idea or view gets pushed back or gets attempted to be opposed.

Some people just do not want to get convicted of wrongdoings at any cost, so being defensive serves as a signal to others that they were not the wrongdoer. Sometimes people find themselves in a situation that happens for them to be wrong in the eyes of others. Then they start defending themselves by laying out reasons why they are not to be blamed. On the other hand, it appears to an observer's point of view that this act implies the  ''don't blame me, go after someone else'' order.

Other times, being defensive could serve as a purpose to deflect one's wrongdoing or mistake. Just like what kids do when they get caught red-handed, say for stealing. When telling unreasonable excuses seems not to work, 'sharing the load' comes into play.The little brother claims the big brother who initiated the stealing while the big brother says they stole together. Then they'll start pingpong-ing each other. Well, the term pingpong sounds quite funny; but so does the act. 

We don't see this happen just to kids. Even adults do the same. In a workplace, the boss blames one of his employee for not doing such and such and the employee would likely start dragging other employees or co-workers into the accusation pool. 

The driving force behind most defensive reaction  is the sense of being secured. People have a whole lot of reasons for this; fame, respect, trustworthy, love, friendship, perfection, and I can keep on adding to the list. 

Now, is it a good or bad thing to be defensive? Well, it depends.

In a more serious case, such as being charged for murder, being defensive would be a great weapon for a defendant to not plead guilty.

However, in many instances, there are better ways to respond instead of being defensive. One, is to reflect the claims/accusations. Take a moment to guess why the claim was made. Say, in a project presentation, a member of the project had disagreements to some of your ideas. You know you had done solid research and have a strong background behind your ideas. Ask yourself, what made him not in favor with your thoughts? Ask him the same and try explaining your viewpoints in a more comprehensive way rather than throwing a bunch of other reasons to defend them. That way, you look cool and your idea stays hot.

Some situations, however, are just too quick to allow yourself to compose and reflect. Being defensive might be best for a split-second decision, but do not overreact.  Just don't. 

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On a side note, my fever's getting worse. 
Has my antibody stopped being defensive? lol