Of a Loss of a Friend

Life is short. Cliche, but I really mean it.

Snapped. Just now I got struck by some bad news. My heart throbbed and my mind became numb. A good friend had just passed away due to motorcycle accident. He was riding his bike when he hit a stranded pick-up truck. It happened in front of the McDonalds on the main road between UTM Skudai and Sri Putri/Skudai Batu 10.

We  used to be in the same team (for two years, as a matter of fact) for the school's marching team and camping activities. Although we were never classmates, we definitely had great memories as a team. Good times, good friend.

Al-Fatihah for Allahyarham Zakirin. May your soul rest in peace and be placed among the pious. Amin. 

Talk About Defensive

These couple of  days weren't really productive for me. I caught cold from a friend and it has been limiting my activities quite significantly. It is really frustrating to lay in bed all day, hoping the cold would wash away soon. Yes, I do have internet connection but it's those same 'ol stuff; Facebook, Youtube, blogs, and a few other sites. You know, the feeling when you're on the net but got sick of seeing the same thing over and over. And that's when I reached the ultimate of boredom, hence came the urge to write. 

Anyway, I've been pondering for quite some time about people's defensive behavior. Really, the thoughts came about through observations. The spark to writing about this issue was an anecdote in which I saw someone throwing a bunch of reasons  (of which some were unnecessary) to his buddy to prove that he wasn't wrong. 

What really defines defensive behavior? 

Numerous pages defining defensive reaction could be found throughout the web. But in my choice of words, it is the resistive reaction when one's stand or idea or view gets pushed back or gets attempted to be opposed.

Some people just do not want to get convicted of wrongdoings at any cost, so being defensive serves as a signal to others that they were not the wrongdoer. Sometimes people find themselves in a situation that happens for them to be wrong in the eyes of others. Then they start defending themselves by laying out reasons why they are not to be blamed. On the other hand, it appears to an observer's point of view that this act implies the  ''don't blame me, go after someone else'' order.

Other times, being defensive could serve as a purpose to deflect one's wrongdoing or mistake. Just like what kids do when they get caught red-handed, say for stealing. When telling unreasonable excuses seems not to work, 'sharing the load' comes into play.The little brother claims the big brother who initiated the stealing while the big brother says they stole together. Then they'll start pingpong-ing each other. Well, the term pingpong sounds quite funny; but so does the act. 

We don't see this happen just to kids. Even adults do the same. In a workplace, the boss blames one of his employee for not doing such and such and the employee would likely start dragging other employees or co-workers into the accusation pool. 

The driving force behind most defensive reaction  is the sense of being secured. People have a whole lot of reasons for this; fame, respect, trustworthy, love, friendship, perfection, and I can keep on adding to the list. 

Now, is it a good or bad thing to be defensive? Well, it depends.

In a more serious case, such as being charged for murder, being defensive would be a great weapon for a defendant to not plead guilty.

However, in many instances, there are better ways to respond instead of being defensive. One, is to reflect the claims/accusations. Take a moment to guess why the claim was made. Say, in a project presentation, a member of the project had disagreements to some of your ideas. You know you had done solid research and have a strong background behind your ideas. Ask yourself, what made him not in favor with your thoughts? Ask him the same and try explaining your viewpoints in a more comprehensive way rather than throwing a bunch of other reasons to defend them. That way, you look cool and your idea stays hot.

Some situations, however, are just too quick to allow yourself to compose and reflect. Being defensive might be best for a split-second decision, but do not overreact.  Just don't. 

.

.

.

.

.

On a side note, my fever's getting worse. 
Has my antibody stopped being defensive? lol

Keretapi Hidup

Saya terpanggil untuk menulis setelah membaca tulisan Syuk. Tentang keretapi.

Mari bercerita:

Kelihatan seorang pakcik di ruangan menunggu keretapi. Ruang menunggu itu hanya kamar kecil yang menempatkan tempat duduk untuk beberapa orang. Pakcik itu membaca suratkhabar sambil menunggu keretapi yang dijangka tiba 60 minit lagi.

Masuk minit ke-30, pakcik berfikir-fikir, lama lagi masa menunggu. Baik pakcik buat sesuatu. Pakcik pergi ke kedai perabot dan hiasan dan membeli perabot-perabot mewah dan pelbagai hiasan dan memunggahnya ke kamar menunggu tadi. Ruangan menunggu yang tadinya hanya tempat duduk kini nampak mewah dan cantik.

Masuk minit ke-40, pakcik merasakan masih banyak masa lagi. Pakcik beli pula pasu bunga, set televisyen, set stereo dan dvd, kerusi urut, dan permaidani baldu, supaya dia boleh mengakhiri penantian keretapi dengan lebih nikmat lagi.

Pakcik terasa ruang menunggu semakin sempit lantas memanggil ahli-ahli tukang untuk meluaskan kawasan menunggu. Gembira hati pakcik dengan ruang menunggu yang semakin selesa dan dilengkapi peralatan yang menyenangkan.

Akhirnya keretapi pun tiba. Pakcik pun naik keretapi menuju ke destinasi seterusnya.

*************************************************

Sangatlah tidak logik dan anti-climax jalan cerita yang dipaparkan. Kalau buat cerita kat panggung, confirm tak mendapat sambutan langsung. Bahkan boleh dapat anugerah "The Dumbest/Most Pointless Film Ever Produced". Tapi inilah panggung dunia yang sebenarnya. Ketika hayat yang dimiliki rata-rata hanyalah 60 tahun, manusia  sibuk kejar semua benda, sedangkan mereka tahu ada ''keretapi'' yang bakal mereka naiki untuk ke "destinasi" seterusnya...

Kita kagum bila jiran sebelah rumah ada 3 kereta, ada TV besar flat screen di rumah, set pinggan mangkuk dan makeup mahal, electronic gadgets yang paling up to date, aksesori-aksesori hiasan diri yang exclusive dan berbagai lagi yang nampak bernilai di mata kita. Sedangkan kebanyakkannya tidak munasabah sebagai bekalan untuk ke destinasi seterusnya, sebagaimana pakcik di ruangan menunggu keretapi tadi.

Jadi, marilah kita bekalkan diri dengan apa yang patut kita bawa ke daerah yang seterusnya dan belajar untuk hidup bersederhana --seperti yang dituntut dalam agama Islam.

Komen Bersih

Kalau bilangan orang yang ada kesedaran untuk berhimpun di jalan raya sama dengan bilangan orang yang ada kesedaran untuk berhimpun di masjid solat berjemaah, bagus juga.

A Father's Little Diary from a Son's Perspective

From right to left, Zainal Salam (My Dad), Jalani Sidek, and three other Victoria Institution (VI) colleagues

So I found this picture on facebook; frankly speaking, I was stalking my dad's abandoned facebook account - well, what do you expect from a facebook profile of a busy man in a university's engineering department? He's the man who holds the positions of a dean, a professor and the head of UTM's special organization pertaining to electrical engineering which I can't instantly recall on top of my head. In short, he's a man of his own field.

**************************************************

Sembahyang zuhur berapa rakaat?


5!


Salah, 4. Sembahyang subuh? 


3!


Salah, 2. Sembahyang isyak?


.....4!

It was a pretty and sunny evening in Birmingham, England (when my dad was doing his doctorate in the UK) and it was after Zuhur time when he asked me these questions. I was 4 and knew nothing more about the prayers than following my father to the mosque, being left at the back lines (saf), observing people do the prayers, and randomly following them. 

The anecdote was  pretty clear though: both of us were holding hands, walking from mosque to home.  Every time I threw him wrong answers, he'd smile and correct me. I learned that I kept on giving numbers that are plus one to the actual answer. So the next time he would ask me about the rakaats, I would subtract 1 from the answer that was at the back of my head.

I learnt reading the Quran (mengaji) from my mum. I remember Umi held me to my dad twice to learn the arabic alphabets; I ended up crying in front of him. I wasn't really sure why I wept  but i guess it was because I somehow developed some kind of fear towards my dad. There was this scary feeling when he asked me to correctly pronounce the letters. It was like facing a police officer in an interrogation room or a death trial in a court. Even when I grow up, the hidden fear still exists but as I get older, it turns out the fear becomes a source of respect. 

Once, we stopped by a Rest Area (R&R). There was a salesman busy promoting fluorescent lamps which he claims could save a good amount of energy hence reducing the amount to pay electric bills. He was convincing people who passed by and it happened that we bumped into this guy. It was to my astonishment that my dad argued with him and proved him wrong about his claim of saving electrical energy. And to my amazement, my father asked him for a pen and paper and gave him a free lecture to disprove the invalid claim. "Engkau ni, macam orang jual air mineral, tapi letak air paip dalam botol"

Up to this point, he had taught me a lot of life experience, be it directly or indirectly. He is a man of wisdom. He's an exemplary of engineering scholar. He's a man of piety. And ultimately, he's a hero at heart. 

‎"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong" ~Charles Wadsworth~

Unexplainable

Just finished my finals. Had Thermodynamics for the last exam. The girl behind was crying and begging the professor for answers. I admit it was a tough one. But to weep and solicit in the exam hall is not the right thing to do. Duhhhhh, whatever, right? 

Anyway, here  I am, sitting alone on my bed.

Feeling happy for the struggle's over. 

Happy that summer's gonna be fun with my new RC helicopter :D

Image source

But it's gloomy out there. It has been raining all week.

My roomie had already headed back home and now the room's half empty.

The vacancy starts translating those good times into memories. 

And now it keeps on storing at the back of my head. 

Image source

Had some worries nestling somewhere.

Summer classes are going to start soon. Will I be able to make the most out of it?

Also, the house search has yet to be ended.

Hope I could get over this soon. Right now, all I need is a good sleep. Later.

OMG LAMBO!

Ever noticed that there is always this particular day when everything falls just right into place? On that day, everything's just awesome; so I'm gonna call it the AWESOME DAY.  Well, I just had mine today!  

Got my Thermal Fluids paper and scored better than expected, went to the dining hall and found out they served Briyani and seafood, and then, bumped into this random GALLARDO!!! Fyi, I'm a big fan of Lamborghini and today it's just like a dream comes true. Having this once-in-a-blue-moon-chance, how could I resist myself from taking pictures with the car I dreamt to own since a kid?? 

See the difference with the truck? Lambo's almost 2 times low in height-it stands at about just over my waist.

My oh my...When could I even get the chance to test-drive this gorgeous machine??

The wheels- ah I couldn't describe more. It's just stunning! All this while, I've been seeing it in NFS Most Wanted (PC game) and some automobile magazines. Now, it's for real!

Presenting you the elegant Lamborghini emblem

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! *Lambo madness*

Great goodness. When could I have one in my garage? T.T

Think I can't see ya hiding gal?

Another Lambo fan I guess :D

Right now I'm still overwhelmed with the excitement. It's a feel of a K-pop fan getting to have dinner with Girl's Generation, or even of an archeologist upon discovering a hidden city underneath earth. The satisfaction? I'd say it's like peeing after holding it for so many hours :DD